I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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