I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
