I'm going to jail i love you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
