Dual....:-)
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
