can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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