And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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