i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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