I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
