Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
