walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize