how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
