If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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