Redeem this text for a blowjob
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
