Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
