why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
