im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
