She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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