is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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