I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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