Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Randomize
