so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
