Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
