I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
