belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
