John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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