I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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