you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
