I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
