Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
