just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
