you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
