i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
