i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
