what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
