Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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