I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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