Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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