apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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