they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
