Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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