Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
