420 ftw
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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