New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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