You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
