Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
