i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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