Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
