We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
me + whiskey = a bad person
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
