I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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