This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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