The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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