I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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