FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
