Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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