dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I pour the whiskey from now on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
