i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
