is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
