K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
