hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
