K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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