Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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