Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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