Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize